The topic of asexuality is surrounded by countless myths. Even google can’t give the right answers to some of the questions about asexuality. At the same time, people of different orientations want to know more about asexuals: their life, their relationship and even sex issues. WM Daily invited heterosexual people to address the most “burning” questions to asexuals. Eight people introduced eight questions, that they’ve always been shy to ask. We also found asexuals, who honestly answered the questions.


#Asexuality is a special project by WM Daily. Asexuals are the ones who who do not experience sexual attraction. Asexuality is a phenomenon that has always existed. Still there are millions of people, who have never heard of it.  WM Daily wants to change things. Our goal is to tell real stories about asexuality to a wider audience.


Here are 8 tricky questions, addressed to asexuals and 26 answers for them. Frank, uncensored, based on personal experience.

1. Why did you choose to be asexual? Maybe, you don’t like the concept of sex itself, it doesn`t brings you pleasure or that`s all because of some negative experience?

Umka, 33: Surprisingly, at my age, I`ve never had any sexual experience. The mere thought of sex makes me sick to my stomach. And I can’t explain the reason. Moreover, I like men better than women: all my friends are male!

Liza, 25: I had no idea what the “asexuality” really was. I`ve never felt sexual attraction to men. I had several doubts about my sexuality in school and then in university. Once I`ve googled about various sexual orientations and found out that there were four of them. Now it has been 3 year since I’ve graduated and I feel I`m becoming more and more asexual. I told my parents as soon as I found out. Although their reaction was negative, I feel like I’m doing the right thing. I can’t understand how women can sex with man. That`s a mystery for me.

Andrey, 19: I think my asexuality developed due to negative sexual experiments.

Ruslan, 30: It`s not like asexuality is my choice. I’d say it’s rather a propensity. I’ve never considered sex as something dirty, but for me sex is far from being the most important thing in the relationship.

 

2. Do you have a date? Is he/she also asexual? If he/she is not asexual, how do deal with sex issues?

Ruslan, 30: At the moment, I don`t. If she were “pro”sexual, I would compromise.

Umka, 33: It may seem strange, but I was married to an ordinary guy, who had the need for sex. But his love for me was even stronger than that. Eventually we`ve found the solution: he imitated sexual intercourse with my thighs. Nevertheless, every single time that was a torture for me. And he felt awkward and embarrassed.

Andrey, 19: I could build relationship with asexual girl. And if she gave birth to our child, I would be happy till my last day of life. I think relationship with not asexual girl could be more complicated…

 

3. Do you feel any kind of pressure?

Ruslan, 30: No. I only faced discrimination in high school (everyone tried sex and I preferred to stay away from that stuff).

Liza, 25: Until recently, nobody knew about my orientation. Now I feel sick and tired and I tell the truth (even in public). I`m tired of traditional orientation`s pressure, especially homophobes, who are being hostile.

Andrey, 19: My mum is pushing me to find a girlfriend. Once we’ve been to a nightclub together. And she was like: “Go check out thooose sexy girl!”, or “Smack that chick”. She really worries about me and wants grandchildren. My friends also try to introduce me to some girls…

Umka, 33: Absolutely no. I’ve never faced the pressure of any kind. Never!

 

4. Do you watch porn?

Roman, 30: It’s happened on rare occasions, but I wasn’t interested. Fiction is more interesting!

Liza, 25: I’ve never watched porn. But sometimes (even though I am asexual), I watch reality shows with sex episodes. I can`t understand – do they do that as in movies or they have real sex for money in front of the cameras???

Umka, 33: It happens, I confess. But I’m completely okay with that.

Andrey, 19: Yes, I do. I have physiological needs, with which I must deal somehow. If I won`t, it will cause certain problems. That`s unhealthy.

 

 

5. Would you like to change your sexual orientation and “quit” being asexual?

Umka, 33: I would never change. Even if I met an amazing person (a person to go literally to the ends of the earth) but who was interested in sex with me, I would leave him.

Andrey, 19: Not at all, but I`d love to meet my real love and soulmate.

 

6. How asexuality influences your style?

Umka, 33: My outfits depend on my mood. Today I want to be bold hooligan in jeans, sneakers and baseball cap and tomorrow I can wear a cocktail dress, intense makeup, shoes and accessories. I`m very different and unpredictable. Overall, I dress exclusively for myself.

Ruslan, 30: I suppose that some asexuals prefer to dress modestly. Personally, I prefer unisex. Well, I dress for myself as well as for people around me.

Liza, 25: I’m not trying to show off. But despite I`m asexual, I`m a woman in the first place. That`s why I like wearing nice clothes.

 

7. Do you have a need for holding hands, kissing or cuddling?

Andrey, 19: No, I don`t. But I love hugs! Sometimes people say my hugs are so strong, that I barely press a person into my chest. That`s why I try to be careful. I don’t have someone to kiss. If I had, I would kiss her on the neck.

Umka, 33: I like romance. Holding hands, walking somewhere in the park, feed the pigeons, hugging each other – I’m all for it! But I don’t like kissing: no, that’s not disgusting, I just don’t like it, especially on the lips. But kisses on the cheek or neck are okay.

 

8. Would you like to have kids? What’s your attitude towards them?

Ruslan, 30: No, I’m childfree. But I have positive attitude towards them.

Andrey, 19: I love children since my childhood. I dream of having three kids. But I`d be so happy if they just appeared from nowhere :). I was brought up that way – my parents always told me that kids are the goal of men`s life.

Liza, 25: I’d love to have a child. Using insemination, of course. Because the doctors will be women. I wouldn’t like to have sexual intercourse with a man even to get pregnant as I`ll be feeling as if I`m a toilet. I don’t want to lose my virginity once and for all, but I will do it for the sake of a child.

Umka, 33: I love kids! That`s such a sensitive subject for me. But even for the sake of children I won’t give up my principles. I have a goal to adopt a child. Or to create a family-type home.

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